Ouch!

Thith morning I went to the dentitht and my mouth ith till thwollen.  

The good newth ith that enough thwelling hath come down that my face ith not totally lop thided anymore. 

 

Those guys were pretty good.  I didn’t feel a thing while they had my jaw unhinged and propped open like a trap door.  But now that they’re done…  Ouch!  I have to be very careful so I don’t bite my tongue.  Boy am I glad this isn’t a phone conversation.

When I went in for my dental check up, the dentist said that one of my old fillings had reached the end of its natural life and needed to be replaced.  I thought I’d take the opportunity to get rid of all of my silver amalgum fillings.  I knew it would take more time but once already numb, why not get it over with?  Right? Except the brilliant scheduler forgot to list one of the fillings for replacement.  That translates into one more visit involving a Novocaine-like substance and a needle.  She admitted her mistake and apologized.  I accepted.  But I’m not happy about it.  And on a somewhat related note, how come I never find a dentist who gives laughing gas instead of Novocaine?  It sounds like a lot of fun.

Anyway, I’m here relaxing with an ice cold can of soda… strapped to the side of my face to ease the discomfort.  This dentist is pretty modern with 360 degree x-rays and cable Tv on the ceiling with headphones so you can be entertained while they jack hammer away at your smile.  But Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!  They are expensive.  

Although my last dentist used a Polaroid for x-rays, whisky and a pliers for repairs, and had an orchid painted on the ceiling for you to look at during your torture session-  at least he didn’t stick you with out-of-pocket fees when the insurance company discounted procedures.  So my face feels heavy and my wallet is light.

Bonus:  I get free whitening.  They made an impression of my mouth and made clear trays that look something like Invisaline braces to put the bleach in.  They also gave me the impressions of my teeth.  It looks like a set of clay dentures.  I think I’ll paint the teeth white with liquid paper.  (Their plan to distract me with party favors is obviously working.)  I probably shouldn’t have mentioned the free whitening.  Someone will probably see me after reading this and ask why my teeth are still yellow.  Any how…

The first round is done – two more to go.  Don’t you just LOOOVE going to the dentist *virtual voice dripping with sarcasm*?  Have you ever had laughing gas (nitrous oxide) instead of Novocaine?  What was that like? Inquiring minds like mine want to know!