The Anatomy of Spam

Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 2:00 am 25 comments

spamNo, I’m not referring to the luncheon meat pictured on the right.  I’m talking about the unsolicited ads that plague our online communications.  Come to think of it,  the use of the word anatomy might be ill advised here.  A lot of the spam I receive promises to plump and enlarge … well, you get the idea.

In order for capitalism to  thrive in all of it’s commercial splendor, vigorous competition is essential.   Spam   … ahem … rather… advertising, is a major part of the equation.  But there is such a thing as an uninvited guest. 

Just out of curiousity, exactly how many Nigerian princes are there and how do they keep finding my email address?  How many long lost relatives have passed on to their heavenly reward and left me their earthly estates?  And  isn’t it amazing that the barristers/attorneys who want to help me settle the estates are so selfless?  They would never ask a penny for themselves – just a small processing fee. 

money scamNow, to the numerous online lotteries that I’ve somehow “won” yet never entered, I really have to thank you guys.  Without you I’d have pretty lousy luck.  I never win anything, but with you guys… I’m always a winner.  About that check you want me to send in to secure my prize, um… it’s in the mail. 

To the online universities who would have me study to become a bail bondsman, paralegal, medical assistant, private investigator, etc., in the privacy of my own home; let me share something with you.   I’ve been out of school for about 15 years now.  Despite that fact, I’ve still been in school for almost half of my life.  Enough is enough already!  Anyway, do you have any blog management courses?  (I’ll call you later).

Eddie Murphy in Coming to AmericaTo the companies trying to sell Cialis and Viagra to me and my blog readers, and to the intestinal health vigilantes trying to sell us colon cleansers – thanks but no thanks.  Hey, everyone’s got to make a living…but can you peddle your wares elsewhere?  By the way, try selling some of your merchandise to the Nigerian Prince, he seems really nice and I hear he’s loaded with cash.

(images from here and here)

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Entry filed under: Miscellaneous Stuff. Tags: , , .

Dress Success! Hurricane Season… Again?!?

25 Comments Add your own

  • 1. cindy  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 7:50 am

    i am not a fan of the meat product or email…ARGHHHH!!!

    Reply
    • 2. Era  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 10:11 am

      Lol! Me either!

      Reply
  • 3. Meluhhan  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 8:29 am

    All those ads about the er, enhancement products, they’re enough to give a girl a complex. I feel so inadequately non-male.

    And the Nigerian prince has contacted you too? I thought I was special, that’s what he said when he offered to give me all that money!

    Reply
    • 4. Era  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 10:12 am

      That was a differnt prince. Maybe we can double “email” date!

      Reply
  • 5. Nelia  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 10:24 am

    Why don’t I ever get the “colon cleanser” spam?

    Reply
    • 6. Era  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 11:44 am

      Hang on, I’ll send them your link… just kiddding.

      Reply
  • 7. Doraz  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 11:30 am

    Era
    Very good points!
    I just went through my email.
    120 messages!
    Over half were your friend, SPAM!
    I got rid of him quickly!
    :I told SPAM to Scram!
    🙂

    Reply
    • 8. Era  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 11:45 am

      I tell mine to scram too, but they keep coming back. Ugh! 🙂

      Reply
  • 9. nat  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    yea, these days I eagerly sign in to my email acount only to see 90% of junk in there. I might have deleted a precious email or two too in my frustration of getting rid of them.

    Reply
    • 10. Era  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 12:51 pm

      Same here. Good thing deletes go to the recycle bin. I’ve had to fish a few out.

      Reply
  • 11. Tony  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    Excellent well written post, you really summed up nicely how we all feel.

    Reply
    • 12. Era  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 4:31 pm

      Thanks Tony.

      Reply
  • 13. starlaschat  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    I guess that’s why I’m not a big Email fan. I know I should use Email more, but I like not having to sort my mail. I don’t like all the spam.

    Reply
    • 14. Era  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 4:32 pm

      Spam is a nuissance!

      Reply
  • 15. Eric Richardville  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    I hate spam. I get some of the weirdest spam comments. It drives me crazy.

    Reply
    • 16. Era  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 8:49 pm

      ahh, dreadful spam.

      Reply
  • 17. Mom Gone Mad  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    Hey! Lets not knock the enhancements till we’ve given it a fair shot. You first, Era!

    No?

    Ok, suit yourself. And you wonder why the Nigerian prince won’t part with his money! Grr. Women!

    Reply
    • 18. Era  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 8:48 pm

      I’m waiting for your sound endorsement – after you ma’am!

      Reply
  • 19. Yay! « I'm the one telling you the way it is  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    … planning on making up for it by being very rich in the future. I have a plan, I have it all worked out. My prince will not fail …

    Reply
  • 20. Eric Richardville  |  Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    I have something for you on my blog.

    Reply
    • 21. Era  |  Wednesday, June 3, 2009 at 5:37 am

      I’ll be right over.

      Reply
  • 22. emma  |  Wednesday, June 3, 2009 at 1:34 am

    who told them I was embarrassed about “size” and would love to give Postivac a go??? hehehe!

    Reply
    • 23. Era  |  Wednesday, June 3, 2009 at 5:37 am

      Lol! They have ways of finding out.

      Reply
  • 24. Dennis the Vizsla  |  Saturday, June 6, 2009 at 1:30 am

    hello era its dennis the vizsla dog hay i keep gitting emails like this and i hav tried to be payshent wile i am wayting for them to send me my munny but i am starting to think the post offiss keeps loozing the cheks or sumthing it is verry frustrayting!!! ok bye

    Reply
    • 25. Era  |  Saturday, June 6, 2009 at 2:18 am

      Ya know Dennis, back in the days of the pony express they never used to lose stuff like this.

      Reply

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