The Anatomy of Spam
No, I’m not referring to the luncheon meat pictured on the right. I’m talking about the unsolicited ads that plague our online communications. Come to think of it, the use of the word anatomy might be ill advised here. A lot of the spam I receive promises to plump and enlarge … well, you get the idea.
In order for capitalism to thrive in all of it’s commercial splendor, vigorous competition is essential. Spam … ahem … rather… advertising, is a major part of the equation. But there is such a thing as an uninvited guest.
Just out of curiousity, exactly how many Nigerian princes are there and how do they keep finding my email address? How many long lost relatives have passed on to their heavenly reward and left me their earthly estates? And isn’t it amazing that the barristers/attorneys who want to help me settle the estates are so selfless? They would never ask a penny for themselves – just a small processing fee.
Now, to the numerous online lotteries that I’ve somehow “won” yet never entered, I really have to thank you guys. Without you I’d have pretty lousy luck. I never win anything, but with you guys… I’m always a winner. About that check you want me to send in to secure my prize, um… it’s in the mail.
To the online universities who would have me study to become a bail bondsman, paralegal, medical assistant, private investigator, etc., in the privacy of my own home; let me share something with you. I’ve been out of school for about 15 years now. Despite that fact, I’ve still been in school for almost half of my life. Enough is enough already! Anyway, do you have any blog management courses? (I’ll call you later).
To the companies trying to sell Cialis and Viagra to me and my blog readers, and to the intestinal health vigilantes trying to sell us colon cleansers – thanks but no thanks. Hey, everyone’s got to make a living…but can you peddle your wares elsewhere? By the way, try selling some of your merchandise to the Nigerian Prince, he seems really nice and I hear he’s loaded with cash.